Today, the first sunny day in over a week, I spent well over an hour walking in and out of shops. Boo! I was looking for something particular. Something I know exists. Something I would call a ‘counter’. You know, the kind that doormen and bouncers use to count the number of people going into a club or bar as part of crowd control. And do you think I could find one?
Could I bollocks!
I tried sports stores, I tried outdoors stores, I tried gadget shops, I tried pound stores and I even tried what ever the hell kind of store ‘Wilkinsons’ is! And nothing.
The thing is, ‘if’ I could find a shop assistant, they looked at me like was speaking in Latin and asking them the atomic weight of a chicken nugget expressed as to 5 decimal places. No Idea! And (sorry ladies) without fail, every girl/woman I asked and explained it to, differed the answer to a male colleague.
Now I can possibly understand this; the only time women are likely ever catch a glimpse of one of these devices is on the way into a busy pub or club, and as we men know, if you have breasts (minus hair) you get ushered in quickly, no questions. Thus, these lady folk had no idea.
Now the guys, well they eventually figured out what I was after but of course they didn’t stock them and universally suggested another possibility. I, of course, dubiously followed this advice right up to the moment I was led around a sports store by a kid (getting hopeful now, although he didn’t look old enough to shave) when finally, with a look on his stupid face that said ‘shit, I have no idea what he’s after but as I’ve taken him all over the store I better come up with something good’ and a mouth that said ‘we sold out of them a few months back and we haven’t had any more stock’. Bastard!!
(Oh, and I only really wanted it to count the explosions in a film I was going to watch!)
TC
Could I bollocks!
I tried sports stores, I tried outdoors stores, I tried gadget shops, I tried pound stores and I even tried what ever the hell kind of store ‘Wilkinsons’ is! And nothing.
The thing is, ‘if’ I could find a shop assistant, they looked at me like was speaking in Latin and asking them the atomic weight of a chicken nugget expressed as to 5 decimal places. No Idea! And (sorry ladies) without fail, every girl/woman I asked and explained it to, differed the answer to a male colleague.
Now I can possibly understand this; the only time women are likely ever catch a glimpse of one of these devices is on the way into a busy pub or club, and as we men know, if you have breasts (minus hair) you get ushered in quickly, no questions. Thus, these lady folk had no idea.
Now the guys, well they eventually figured out what I was after but of course they didn’t stock them and universally suggested another possibility. I, of course, dubiously followed this advice right up to the moment I was led around a sports store by a kid (getting hopeful now, although he didn’t look old enough to shave) when finally, with a look on his stupid face that said ‘shit, I have no idea what he’s after but as I’ve taken him all over the store I better come up with something good’ and a mouth that said ‘we sold out of them a few months back and we haven’t had any more stock’. Bastard!!
(Oh, and I only really wanted it to count the explosions in a film I was going to watch!)
TC
idiot - never take a shop assistants advice - now get down to your local bowls club & pinch one of a granny who's dozed off
ReplyDeleteIt'll be like taking boiled sweats from the infirmed. Perfect!
ReplyDelete