Hmmm, What To Do

I was so looking forward to having a 4 day weekend, but...

I'm half way through the weekend and my wife is working on all 4 of those days. BOO!

I've done the shopping. I've cooked a lovely meal - rack of lamb, roasted with rosemary, thyme and a mint glaze, served with minted peas and potatoes done 3 ways (mashed, chipped and fondant). The washing is in the machine as I type and I’m delaying the vacuuming for as long as I can!

So what to do?

I could go to the cinema but I’m not that fussed about what’s out this weekend. The likely option if I do go is the A-Team, but I’m not 100% on whether I’m that enthused. Besides, Hannah may wish to see it too and if I go by myself I may spend all the credit my good deeds have accrued! That said, I never got the feeling that Hannah was that interested in the A-Team either, so I could be safe.

The other thing that is putting me off the cinema is not only that it is a Saturday, and likely to be busy, but the A-Team is designed to have mass appeal and the masses are morons! Still, maybe that’ll give me my next blogging subject (or allows me to revisit an old one!)

Hope you’re all having a good weekend!

TV Advertising

What is it with dubbing over foreign language TV adverts?

Perhaps that’s not quite the right question. It’s pretty obvious why foreign ads are dubbed over in English for an English speaking audience!

The right question on this topic would be ‘why do companies advertising in the UK use foreign adverts for their product and badly dub them over?’ Obviously there’s the expense of making a new ad versus the cost of dubbing an existing one, but surely the costs involved in filming someone brushing their teeth or applying zit cream to a cratered face can’t be that high, can it?

Then there’s the English language ads that are dubbed over in English accents rather than allowing Aussie or Yank patter to enter our ears. God forbid! Now I’m guessing that someone somewhere did some sort of expensive study that indicated that the common Englishman responds poorly to people with certain accents selling certain products. And whilst I am not English, I am immersed in the culture (what there is of it outside of football!) and I say fuck the common man! Give it to me straight!

It seems the only time a foreign accent speaking English is acceptable in advertising is when we are being coerced to by a product we associate with that accent. Fosters and Australia, Dolmio sauces and Italy, Blue Dragon sauces and China, you get the idea. Basically, if you’re selling the sauce do it foreign!

Advertising types listen up! If you have to dub, please do a good job!

Film Review: The Karate Kid (PG)

Better than the original, and when was the last time you read that?!

THE PLOT

A young Will Smith, sorry Jaden Smith, leaves Detroit to start a new life with his mother. But this is not as simple as a move to California. This is Beijing, China, and life couldn’t be more different.

Essentially this film covers all the same ground as the 80’s original. There’s a girl; there’s a guy that doesn’t like our young hero fraternising with the girl; that guy, and his mates, are well trained martial artists; there’s also an old, Yoda-like, maintenance guy that helps the youngster train in the martial arts to ‘unexpectedly’ win the day. It’s all there, and if you don’t know the plot you are clearly a cinematic hermit and this is not for you. This is not the review you’re looking for. You can go about your business. Move along.

THE REVIEW
Remakes will always be compared to their predecessors, but unlike watching Ralph Macchio in the title role, I didn’t want to be the kid that beats seven shades of shit out of the ‘kid’! This kid has some proper acting chops. Jaden Smith is definitely his father’s son and that’s no ‘nasty’ thing considering some of the characters Will has brought to the silver screen. Nor was Pat Morita’s Miyagi (R.I.P) missed as Jackie Chan delivered a great performance as Jaden’s mentor/master.

The expected homage’s and references were everywhere but almost always handled delicately so as to not make the audience roll their eyes. This reinvention of the classic original was better in almost every way. The cinematography was superior (even with the occasional jerky hand held motion) and the pace was steady. Having recently watched the original on TV it is evident that the thing that sets these versions apart is the quality of the acting. This comes in two parts; the acting in the 1984 original is poor by modern cinematic standards and the acting in the 2010 remake is simply very good.

There is only one niggle. The title! Set in China, Jaden’s character Dre Parker is trained in Kung Fu, not Japanese Karate! Surely ‘The Kung Fu Kid’?!

THE VERDICT
The Karate Kid (2010) is one of the best 80’s remakes in some time and more than that, it's flat out entertaining.

TC

NOW SEE THE TRAILER...

UK Release Date: 28 July 2010

Cinema Etiquette or Shut The Hell Up!

After last nights effort I’m doubtful anyone in Derby has ever heard of Cinema Etiquette! "‘Cinema Etiquette?’ sound’s like it has subtitles, no thanks!"

Preview weekends = NO ADS & TRAILERS (Remember this for next time!)

PEOPLE! Arrive on time! Don’t show up after the film starts and then expect others will be happy with you tripping and shuffling around in the dark in front of them. And don’t then proceed to rustle around every single piece of food wrapping you can find whilst you get settled. And when the rest of the row is empty, at least leave one seat space. I don’t know you, you’re likely to talk (if your entrance is anything to go by), and I sat here because I wanted space and most dicks like you usually sit at the back, where I can tolerate you. And don’t ask what you’ve missed, the person you came in with also missed it. And certainly don’t ask me, I missed it too, you shit! So how the hell should I know?!

AND PEOPLE! Once you’re settled, concentrate. For Christ’s sake concentrate!
Clearly you don’t understand how pissing annoying it is to hear the constant murmur (if only it was just a murmur!) next to you asking ‘what did she say?’, ‘what was that?’ or the perennial ‘is that the guy from the start?’ These questions are annoying to hear in themselves, but the answers can be just as fist-clenchingly frustrating. I don’t need a commentary. I WAS WATCHING AND LISTENING! And I certainly don’t need to hear your commentary because you clearly have no idea either!

And people, when you’re asked to ‘be quiet’, in my most constrained and polite tone, why do you seem to hear one of two things:

‘finish this sentence now, but I’m OK with you continuing to talk throughout the remainder of the film’
OR
‘I just shot your cat in the head, shagged the carcass and left the remnants in your popcorn bucket’.

The former seems to result in the perpetrator maintaining complete ignorance that there is a problem; the latter appears to suggest that I’m the inconsiderate twat that is making this cinematic experience less than the intended enjoyable one.

I paid good money to see this film, money I worked for, and you don’t give a shit, just as surely as I don’t give a shit about your financial situation. But this is the thing, YOU paid money for this too, and clearly haven’t taken in a single bit of it, apart from the fight scenes, explosions and the shiny shiny lights! Surely this has been a waste of your money?

It's more than just bad films that should die at the box office!

C’mon cine folk, show some respect! Then we can all enjoy the film.

Early Mark

Following weeks of hard graft on 2 key projects and this morning’s progress review, my colleagues and I were given the afternoon off. I haven’t had an official ‘early mark’ since high school, and I like it. And this on a day that I wore shorts to work!

Teacher must think I’ve been a good boy!

This has made me wonder. Early parole for good behaviour; why does society allow it? Baring in mind that I get ‘early release’ from work for working, and even working overtime (that’s WORK, not sitting about waiting for my next publicly funded meal to be cooked and served). How is this right? Prisoners whom have stolen, raped, injured or killed, are convicted and proceed to be ‘kept’ by the taxpayer, some of which they stole from, raped, injured or killed in the first place, and then are told that because they’ve not continued their terrible ways on the inside they can be released of their penance, and rejoin society.

We workers, however, have to work long(ish) hours to pay for our own food, lodgings and clothing before we get an early mark!

This seems a little lop-sided! That said, I'm not gonna bitch too much as this might be the last early mark I get for a while! But then maybe that's reason to bitch even more?!

Nothing Happened

Nothing remotely special or interesting happened to me today and I wanted everyone to know! However, I started this new blog thingy after hours of pissing around setting up and I'll be damned if I'm not going to say something today!

I did have oporto chicken for dinner tonight, but I'm not sure that counts as interesting. Special maybe, interesting, doubtful.

Film Review: Inception (12A)

Good fun and a great concept

THE PLOT

A collection of corporate espionage types, using military tech to enter dreams and steal secrets, are coerced into planting an idea in the skull of Cillian Murphy’s ‘mark’. This is Inception. Simple enough? Not really.

To make it stick, ensuring the mark believes the idea to be entirely his own, they have to go deeper than their usual head-heist; much deeper. The complexity and smart narrative starts here and comes about when our ‘heroes’ enter a dream within a dream, within a dream! You following so far?

The action stems from the ‘projections’ of people populating the dreamer’s nap-time reality. If the dreamer becomes aware there are trespassers in their subconscious the projections act like white blood cells attacking an infection. And action!

THE REVIEW
This was the first film in months that I was actually looking forward to seeing, and I wasn't wowed. I wasn’t expecting to be wowed, I don’t think, but it wasn’t what I had hoped, if that makes sense.

It goes like this:

Would I watch it again?
Yes, happily

Would I pay to see it again at the cinema?
Actually, I’ve been contemplating doing just that.

Would I buy it on DVD? (No blue ray comments please!)
Definitely

Was the acting good?
Yes. Couldn’t fault it really

Was the concept good?
Great, actually. Original, thought provoking and set the scene for some great set pieces

Were the set pieces good?
All were good, but this is where we get down to it…

The set pieces were as well edited, choreographed and directed as you could hope and expect from the director of the brilliant Dark Knight, but were wholly lacking in originality, with one possible exception (zero gravity).

It must be hard to be original in Hollywood these days (just look at the multitude of TV and movie remakes, not to mention the sequels) but when you have a director that brought out the inspired Oscar winning performance of Heath Ledger’s Joker, in the wake of Nicholson’s already acclaimed performance in the same role, how is it that Inception, unique and wonderful concept aside, still managed to feel familiar and almost formulaic?

THE VERDICT
A great twist on the standard heist movie, combined with top class acting and some fantastic action sequences make for a worthy summer blockbuster. But all said and done, a palladium effort, not quite a platinum one. Be sure to take an extra brain as your current one may overload!

TC

UK Release Date: 16 July 2010

AWARDS
Golden Globe Nominee - Best Motion Picture - Drama
Golden Globe Nominee - Best Director - Motion Picture: Christopher Nolan
Golden Globe Nominee - Best Screenplay - Motion Picture: Christopher Nolan
Golden Globe Nominee - Best Original Score - Motion Picture: Hans Zimmer

BAFTA Winner - Production Design: Inception: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Doug Mowat
BAFTA Winner - Sound: Inception: Richard King, Lora Hirschberg, Gary A Rizzo, Ed Novick
BAFTA Winner - Special Visual Effects: Inception: Chris Corbould, Paul Franklin, Andrew Lockley, Peter Bebb
BAFTA Nominee - Best Film: Inception
BAFTA Nominee - Director: Christopher Nolan for Inception
BAFTA Nominee - Original Screenplay: Inception: Christopher Nolan
BAFTA Nominee - Original Music: Inception: Hans Zimmer
BAFTA Nominee - Cinematography: Inception: Wally Pfister
BAFTA Nominee - Editing: Inception: Lee Smith

Academy Award Winner - Cinematography: Wally Pfister
Academy Award Winner - Sound Editing: Richard King
Academy Award Winner - Sound Mixing: Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick
Academy Award Winner - Visual Effects: Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb
Academy Award Nominee - Best Picture: Emma Thomas and Christopher Nolan, Producers
Academy Award Nominee - Art Direction: Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas; Set Decoration: Larry Dias and Doug Mowat
Academy Award Nominee - Music (Original Score): Hans Zimmer
Academy Award Nominee - Writing (Original Screenplay): Written by Christopher Nolan

Setting Up

Well this has taken me all bloody evening to set this thing up and I still have piss all idea what the hell I'm doing! I'm a smart guy, but a tutorial would be nice.

Well this is it people, my first opportunity to vent using big words and convoluted sentence structure without the restriction of 140 letters or my boss telling me to dumb things down. Of course as I have no followers as yet ‘people’ clearly means ‘myself’.

Welcome!

This is my new (first ever) blog, so be gentle!